Be Still

"Be still, and know..."

This message has been presented to me three times in the last week, through church, through song, through my hair stylist. And yet, tonight is the first time I have taken the advice.

Be still, be still, be still.

It seems like such a simple concept. Of course, it is an accomplishment few in our society seem capable of achieving.

My own reason for avoiding stillness? Fear.

There. I said it. I am afraid to be still.

It's the same reason every thought of my sweet mama seems to end with me scrolling through pictures of someone I hardly know on Facebook or staring, mind-numbed, at the television. I am afraid of my thoughts. And I am afraid of anything close enough to stillness that it just might allow my thoughts and feelings to reign. But, of course, in my ardent efforts to avoid the perils of stillness, I also flee from the very time that provides healing, processing, movement forward. I busy myself out of true growth.

I've planned my summer accordingly, perfectly manufacturing it to allow for little time to be still. And yet, I think, the universe is fighting back. The trips that will keep me away from home for the next eight weeks will also keep me away from cell phone service, from constant connection to the false connections that keep me distracted from real life. And maybe, just maybe, in the whirlwind ahead, I will find that stillness that I love to flee.

In the meantime, the words of my dear friend and mentor, who also happens to cut my hair, echo in my mind.

Your mom was with me this morning....

You need to be writing. 

And I heard the soft notes of my mother's voice tangled up in hers. 


VIDEO:
The Fray. SuperDJM2. "Be Still." YouTube. Web. 11 June 2012.